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1. I have absolutely no one to talk to. There is no one I trust to show vulnerability to, no one whose opinion matters to me, no one who cares about me. Okay, you're actually alone. You need to change this. Start going to a therapist, if you're not already. Your therapist will be safe, have a valuable opinion, and will care about you. If the therapist you go to on the first try doesn't make you feel this way, go to another therapist, and another, until you find one who does make you feel this way. Yes, the relationship you form with your therapist will be professional. They will not be your friend. But they will care, they will help you create a relationship that centers on your needs, and they will be there when you need help. Another way to change this is to get a pet. No, we're not kidding. Cats and dogs have been bred to return love for caring, and having a pet to care for will help you access the feelings of affection within yourself. If a cat or dog is too much, how about a bird? Or a lizard? Something that give's a rat's ass whether you're there or not -- even a rat will do. They're kinda cute. 2. I have someone to talk to, I guess. I trust them, and they care about me, but I don't want to smother my only friend/family member/lover with all my problems. You must go now to this person, sit them down, and ask them to be honest about how they feel. You too must be honest. Then you must listen to them and believe them when they respond. If they want to be there for you and say they want to know 100% of what's going on with you, day or night, then believe them. Chances are, however, that while they will care and want to help you, you may well overwhelm them if they are all you have. And they absolutely cannot take the place of that professional therapist who's trained to help you. Getting a pet might still be a good idea as well. But as for your friend/lover/whatever, let them set the limits of how much support they can give you, and follow those limits as much as you can. If the limits they set are impossible, or if they don't easily forgive your occasional transgression, then you might want to re-think the relationship and down-grade the friend/lover to acquaintance/sex-partner. If the person you're turning to is a family member and they can't help you, be forgiving. They may well be sharing some of your environmental and/or genetic difficulties themselves. In a best-case scenario, you could to support each other. In a less-than-best, you may just have to give each other space.
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