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Remember, remember, remember that life is nothing like they show on TV or in the movies, or even in a good book. Dr. Grace loves science-fiction. "I find it amazing that people shun sci-fi as being too 'weird' or 'unrealistic,' when, it fact, I love the genre precisely because it's honest about being fictional. So-called "realistic" or mainstream fiction is the biggest lie, because it pretends to mirror life, but, in fact, dramatizes and heightens the events in real life to the point where they become truly ridiculous. "I ask you, what's more unbelievable? That a man flies a spaceship to Venus, or that a man who's miserable ends up raising his brother's children (with no experience, mind you) and winds up part of this big, happy family that never has any real trouble? A woman who can fly through the air on alien wings, or a teenage daughter who who avoids the temptations of drugs, sex, and vanity because her parents are just so cool?" If you grow up thinking that people deal with real problems in sit-coms and soap operas, adulthood can slap you like a horror. Problems don't go away with a cute outfit or a heartfelt talk with your best friend. Problems stay, and stay, and stay. Gracie: "I had a friend, Sherry, who was battling depression over the death of her son several years ago in a car accident. When she talked about how she wanted to get better, I automatically used a line I had seen work many times on TV: 'Your son wouldn't want you to be unhappy.' The next second, Sherry was extremely angry and told me she wouldn't be 'tricked' out of her feelings. I ended up apologizing for five minutes, but looking back, it really was a horrible thing for me to say." If we wait for someone to tell us something to make us feel all better, we're going to wait a long time. If, however, we process what others tell us and make it part of our own understanding of who we are, if we apply ourselves to self-acceptance and separating ourselves from the condition of depression, we can indeed feel better in time. |